The Gift of Being an Aunt

Being an aunt is much more fun than I had imagined. I love being able to be with my nephews, and almost be a kid again! I like to read to them, to play with toys with them, even to crawl around with the younger one, Pax. I like seeing each of my nephews grow, physically, verbally, emotionally, etc. Each nephew is different, but I love them all! It is wonderful to be an aunt.

My nephews like to read, eat, sleep (sometimes), play with toys, crawl, sit in the bouncy chair, and play at Grandma & Grandpa’s house. When my nephew John was in town, we took him to the mall to look around; he seemed to enjoy it a lot.

I have one niece or nephew who hasn’t been born yet. This one will be born in July.

Howie is the oldest nephew, then John, then Pax, then Justice. I hope as they get older that they can all be good friends! And love their mommies & daddies!

I hope if you aren’t an aunt or an uncle yet, you can experience it someday. It is simply wonderful!

Deep Breathing & Stretching Techniques

I’ve heard that deep breathing is supposed to help with stress and anxiety. You take a deep breath in, breathing from your abdominal muscles (not your upper chest area), and while breathing in, say a prayer, maybe to the effect of, “Lord, I breathe in your peace.” Then you exhale slowly, blowing, again, from the abdominal muscles, and say a prayer, maybe to the effect of, “Lord, I let go of…”.

I thought this sounded completely hokey at first, and would produce no effect, but I think it might actually help. The reason is that stress, anxiety and fear are not only emotionally based, but also have physical elements to them. When you experiencing anxiety, fear or stress, certain areas of your body are tensed up. Deep breathing and stretching will most likely help to reduce muscle tension.

When you experience emotional tension, try to identify which muscle groups are becoming tense. This is unique to the individual – different muscle groups tend to tense up with different people. These are the areas that you should focus on stretching gently ten times a day.

When you begin the practice of deep breathing and stretching, it may be hard to do, but it is good to do this ten times a day, regularly throughout the day. It may be while you are sitting at your desk at work, or moving around, as the case may be. It is not a long exercise, just something quick, yet relaxing at the same time.

Try it and see if you like it!

A Peek into My Struggles with Fear

To someone who struggles with fear like I do, the phrase, “Don’t be afraid” doesn’t really help. In fact, it tends to produce even more fear. What I would much rather hear is an explanation of what is going or not going to happen, so I can judge for myself if fear is in order. Or at least I would rather hear, from someone I trust, everything will be ok, that I have nothing to even be afraid of. Most of the time, even when I receive reassurance, it’s from people who have no power to change outcome of events anyway. Not very reassuring in the least…

Why does the Bible have so many passages stating, as a command, “Don’t be afraid”?

Could it be that I need to see who is saying it? When people in the Bible were told not to be afraid, it was usually by someone in authority – Moses, angels, even Christ himself. The people saying “Don’t be afraid” either had authority to do something about it, or knew someone who did. Those who say “Don’t be afraid” usually know more of the story’s end than the one who is afraid.

How could Christ have said, “Don’t be afraid” to men who were in a boat that was about to capsize? He had to have known more in the situation than they did.

I think when God asks us not to be afraid, it’s because he knows more than we do, and he knows that nothing has the power to seriously harm us, even the worst possible outcome – death itself. As the creator of the universe, is he worth trusting?

Something that’s really helped me with this is, believe it or not, a picture of two horses. I have a painting at home, and it pictures a baby horse nuzzling upward to her mother. The mother in the painting looks very strong. There is a verse with the painting, Isaiah 66:13, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.” When I feel nervous, knowing that I can be comforted is a great help. When a mother comforts her baby, she usually has more knowledge than the baby. This is similar to God, on a much greater scale. He has greater knowledge of every situation. When he asks us not to be afraid, it’s not a stern command, but comforting strength.

Book Review: Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix, PhD (Part 1)

I got this book from my sister, Marnie. She has had it for a few years in her collection, and she let me borrow it when I went to visit her in Texas. This book has several good ideas in it, so I hope to write a few entries.

One of the main ideas I caught on to is about communication between spouses. Even though I have no spouse, I think that the skills can produce good results with friends. Here are the basic ideas:

Communication often breaks down and leads to conflict between spouses. But with each time we communicate, there is the potential to produce positive results instead of conflict. We can feel very close to our spouse or close friend, and “commune” with them, as the author puts it.

He says that very few people actually listen to their spouse; instead, we are thinking of how we will respond to what the person is saying, or what we will say next that is entirely unrelated.

To have healthier communication, try following these three steps:

Mirroring – To mirror what someone is saying, you repeat it back to them in your own words. This ensures that you have understood what your partner is saying. Once you mirror your partner’s initial thought, you ask them to expand on what they initially stated, and then mirror that expansion back to them as well. Doing this will more often than not make both people feel that they are tracking together.

Validation – To validate what someone is saying, you basically say that you can follow his or her logic. It DOES NOT mean that you agree. But if you validate someone’s logic, based on his or her frame of reference, it tends to make the other person feel listened to, and understood.

Empathy – This last step is when you seek to express that you can sympathize with how the other person is feeling, based on his statements. Again, you are not agreeing with the other person.

When you engage in this kind of communication, Hendrix claims, you actually can distance yourself from your partner’s opinion, because you clearly see that you are following your partner’s line of thinking, not your own.

Once you follow this three-step process, you can express your feelings or thoughts about the other person’s original idea, and have them also follow the three-step process with your idea. Even if you end up disagreeing afterwards, both people will more likely feel closer because you have engaged in healthy communication, or communion, and have avoided conflict.

Retail Therapy 101

My sister Jennie frequently sends me out on assignment after a stressful day or days at work. She calls it “retail therapy” -- she claims that shopping will take my mind off whatever was causing me stress.

When she first recommended this as a way to de-stress, I would simply laugh and do nothing about it. What changed me was actually going on a few shopping trips with her and another of my sisters, Marnie. I started to buy into this kind of therapy, and found that Jennie was on to something. It was as if when I went shopping, my brain was releasing a soothing, destressing chemical. I thought, how can this feel so good!?

I now engage in retail therapy on occasion. As long as I limit myself to a small budget, I can usually come up with at least one fun thing to try on and buy. Yes, I usually shop for clothes, shoes, or something else I can wear. Perfume, earrings, purses, makeup… lots of things seem to do the trick. I try to find something I really like, so I don’t just blow money and regret it when I get home.

I thought I would put together a list of some of my favorite Retail Therapy locations – feel free to try these out, or add a few of your own, so I can try them!

• The Bobbi Brown makeup counter – I can only find these counters in the bigger cities, the quality of this skincare & makeup line is hard to match.
• Macy’s Department Store – I like just going and looking, smelling the perfumes, etc.
• Sephora – I usually go to this one if I am in Saint Louis, or another bigger city. My sister Bitz got me into this one with a gift card one Christmas. Tons of makeup & skincare picks. Mostly affordable.
• Banana Republic – I like a lot of the styles from this place; usually I shop the sale racks here.
• Charlotte Russe – This store is especially nice because the clothes fit, and they are well-priced to boot!
  

The Love of God

The love of God is like a blazing fire or like a calm wind. God’s love is to be felt and understood. It is to be breathed in, like a fresh breeze on a warm, sunny day. God’s love is to be enjoyed, like a yummy milkshake, or a fun song and dance. The Holy Spirit longs for us to know Him. He desires to be felt and to be in a relationship. He desires to be listened to. He knows what our prayers and our weaknesses are. And God’s people are those who have His thoughts, who breathe His breath. The Holy Spirit is a kind Presence, deep inside, even in one’s stomach or gut. He resides inside forever. He will never leave you.

Our deepest thoughts are worth being voiced to YHWH. He wants to know our thoughts, to have us express them to Him. His desire is to be close with His creation, with His beloved sons and daughters. YHWH placed Jesus Christ into human existence, to display His loving kindness. Breathe in His love for you. Experience His love first hand. Visualize the loving God – how does He make Himself known to you? Experience His love, flowing from the pages of the Scripture. Sense His kindness and compassion. God’s love and compassion are beyond human comprehension. YHWH’s loving power goes beyond our ability to conceive in our minds or even our hearts. Look at the expanse of the universe, of the weather, of knowledge… these, even with their awesome display, have no power to limit God. These are His creation, His genius.