What's Up in 2012

I haven't been blogging lately...hmm, I guess in about two years. In that time, I've gotten married and had a son. So, what should I talk about?  My transition from working full-time in an office to being at home, still working full-time (as a mom!) has been rough.  It definitely has its rewards though.  Seeing Benji grow and change has been amazing.

I recently chatted with my sister Bitz (aka Betsy) about parenting. She told me to put some of my ideas together for a blog. So here goes!

Carrie’s Parenting Ideas

• State what you want your child to do only once. Let him/her know frequently that Mom & Dad intend to be obeyed after one time. Come up with reasonable consequences, depending on what is going on that day. Expect to be listened to and obeyed the first time. Make sure the child understood and heard what you said. Being listened to and followed the first time will cut down on parental anger and child frustration and poor assertion of will. 
• Consistency is key. Create stability and the environment of your child(ren) knowing what to expect. Lack of follow-through creates chaos for both you and your child(ren). 
• Accentuate what your child is doing right. A lot of what children do wrong (at first) may be because they have not yet been trained how to do something correctly. (This is part of what it is to be a child!) Train first, then go to discipline later if needed. Ask, “Can you show me how to be gentle?” “What is a way that you could be more gentle with the baby? Can you show me?” Reinforce positively what they are doing correctly. Discipline comes when a child is openly doing what he/she knows he/she should not do. 
•  With multiple children, foster working together, listening to each other. Create a family dynamic by asking the older sibling(s) to show you how they can help the younger sibling(s). Asking this way gives them the responsibility of figuring out how to do things. It is less likely to be a power struggle. 
• Don’t underestimate the power of distraction. 
• Ask the Holy Spirit for help, verbally, with your children. Call on Him in the middle of whatever is happening, when any fruit of the Spirit is needed, etc. Bring the Trinity into your day. Notice creation with your children. Ask them what they notice about creation when on walks, outside, etc. Draw out of them a love for creation, and thereby, a love for the Creator. Draw out awe within your child.
•  Help your child learn how to deep breathe. Demonstrate it several times a day and cheerfully ask for his/her participation. 
• Foster self-awareness. Ask your child, “How are you feeling today?” “What is going on inside your head when your brother/sister does this?” Help them to see their own motives and thoughts. Guide them, then, to ask for help from the Holy Spirit. 
• Family Worship Time – make it something enjoyable for children – light a candle, sing songs with motions, etc. Include songs, prayers, and Bible reading. Ask the children what prayer requests they have. Write in a journal so they can see when they get older. Have the same routine each time. 
• Have a list of values you would like to instill in your child(ren). Refer to it when you have time by yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit to make these values in your child(ren). Pick certain ones to pray about. Think of small, easy ways to instill these in day-to-day life.